Stepping into who I really want to be.

The last 3 Months have been quite a whirlwind and now, here we are, out of summer and back into fall. I started dancing ballet again, after a sabbatical between the ages of 21-40 with a blip of dancing for 3 months in 2018 that ended with a bum knee. So here we are again. Something has shifted in me so hard, that I had to dance. I signed back up for ballet in January of 2022, taking one class a week, then 2, and signing up for a summer dance intensive with huge plans to get back into company and perform. I have also taken up some hypnosis to help me lose weight and get back into shape( or as I like to say, release fat and build muscle). Spoiler alert, it worked. 5 sessions and I have really started to become who I want to be.

Time line: Base weight: 155lbs, 5 ft . Body fat at 28%. January: 1 class of ballet and weight lifting 2x a week :153 lbs February: 2 classes of ballet weight lifting 2x a week: 153 lbs March : 2 classes of ballet and weight lifting 2x a week- started using apollo protein to help get me motivated , hypnosis: 151 lbs April:2-3 classes of ballet , lifting 2x a week, walk/run 2-3 x a week: ( signed up for a 5k- had to prep)weight 150lbs May : Ballet 2-3x a week: lifting 2x a week, walk/run 2-3 x a week:149lbs lifting 2-3 x a week June : Ballet 2-3x a week: lifting 2x a week, walk/run 2-3 x a week:149lbs July: DANCE INTENSIVE for 1 week.Lifting 2x a week, walk/run 2-3 x a week:148lbs August:Lifting 2x a week, walk/run 2-3 x a week biking once a week:148lbs

And now we are in September. The first week of September was pretty good. I lifted, not as hard, so I had plenty of reserves for ballet class and pointe. Then, I had my 2nd degree Reiki initiation and things went off the rails. Lifting has become really hard, I am fatigued and feeling like I lost my motivation for ballet and lifting. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I guess this is a sign from universe that I should just surrender and go with the flow. Is this Reiki or is it the retrograde? I was exhausted. I hurt my right shoulder lifting,tried to go to ballet and ended up leaving early. I felt upset and disappointed because I wanted to build my skills and get on pointe so bad, but my body would not work with me. I had to surrender.