40 Days of Ganesha Day 1-10
I am doing a 40 day practice of the mantra " Om Gum Ganatapeya Namaha"
My intention: to become my highest self( pretty vague but its the best I could do)
Sub intention: Release 5 lbs of fat/be strong as fuck/DO A PULLUP
Starting Feb. 2 ending March 14
Day 1/FEB 2: read somewhere that our external environment is a mirror of our internal environment, and today, I kept wording about how I needed to clean house.
But perhaps, I need to solve my anxiety and the house cleaning will work out next?
So, Over the next month, I will work on my "being present" practice". Especially when I am anxious.
Because, why am I anxious? The question of the day, week, year ( and it has been quite a year)
See what happens when you sit and meditate on your breath for a minute? Epiphanies happen.
Its like, hope is at the end of all these worries and its just trying to get up to me, and the queue is cleared when I meditate and/or get present.
Day 2/Feb3: Epiphanies with my therapist
Day 3/Feb 4: A huge shift in a relationship with a friend- listening to a book from the library about "Essentialism"
Day 4/Feb 5: This rabbit hole about simulation theory : https://getpocket.com/read/2689991475
https://www.gaia.com/article/the-power-of-manifestitation-10-steps-to-manifesting-your-reality
Need some guidance? https://dsamh.utah.gov/pdf/2016%20Trauma%20Academy/Higher%20Self.pdf
The day is strange energetically,but I am compelled and mindfully thinking about what I want in my life and why.
It all comes down to feeling. Wanting to feel more passionate, more confident,more relaxed. To make life effortless.
Day 5/Feb 6: UP at 6 am, despite a pretty rough nights sleep. (46 minutes between 8:32 and 9:51 and 3:hours and 30 minutes between 2 am and 11).
0822: Still feel good.
(( Is my dog facilitating a polyphasic sleep schedule? Perhaps)
But is less sleep better? Essential ism would say no.
I feel pretty good. Made a cup of half calf and started playing Cyberpunk 2077.
I am motivated, and energized.
Found:https://jessikneeland.com/benefits-listening-to-your-body/
https://jessikneeland.com/giving-up-control/
I made it to 8pm with only a small 15 minute nap at about 3pm. Surprising how much easier things are when I just believe I can fall asleep. My brain is an efficient little beast.
Although, the timeline is starting to feel a bit off kilter. Maybe a timeline shift?
Day 6/Feb 7: UP at 5:33 to start work,feeling pretty good despite falling asleep after midnight. ( Thanks Baron)
I started listening to a book on essentialism while I chored around the house.
Spoiler alert: I am 80% to a pull up. A full pull up.
Day 7/Feb 8: I got 8 full hours of sleep with a fitbit sleep score of 85. So why do I feel so sludgy this AM?
Maybe, less sleep. But better sleep is what I need. Or maybe I am just looking for something to place problems on because I cannot fundamentally just accept myself.
Day 8/Feb 9: More essential ism: and this gem about Yes and No
Day 9/Feb 10: Started actually using some of the skills I learned from "Essentialism" specifically how to start saying no. I also took some time off because I felt miserable , and I took an Epsom salt bath and took a hard nap.
I started writing my novel again. I am genuinely curious how the book will end.
Day 10/Feb 11: Took half the day off because I felt so miserable ( 4 hours of sleep and sore from working out #Boxing
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Will I make 40 days? Will I do my Pull-up? Will I drop 5lbs? Will I become enlightened?
Still on the docket: Why I keep wanting to try polyphasic sleep and not doing it?? As of 2/8/21, I have a bit of an answer. I am resistant to life flow, which is trying to facilitate a polyphasic sleep schedule but my core belief that I will become a hot-mess without 8 full, UN-interrupted hours of sleep is getting in my way.
I need a new core belief about sleep.
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