Purpose and Passion- My journey through thoughts

This morning, I woke up and started my morning pages ( https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/) and I felt absolutely lost. The last few months I have been really analyzing my life and identifying what I want to focus on, what I WANT to spend my time on.

I  like to sit at my computer and drink coffee to warm up to the day. At my computer, I did a quick google search for " purpose " and " passion".

Found this gem. http://www.thelawofattraction.com/15-minutes-finding-true-purpose/

It offers a few questions to help guide you to what makes you happy.

And as I dug into this topic, I could feel some resistance. Writing this down makes it feel real and offers an opportunity to really look at where I am and am not living my dream.

1. What 5-7 things do you value the most?

 A.Learning

B.Growth

C.Exploration

D. Flexibility

E.Creativity

2. If nothing changed, what would be your biggest regret?

My biggest regret would be letting my fear stop me from exploring more of life. Specifically pushing and supporting myself in areas such as relationships, writing, dancing and music.

3. What have been your past dreams and why did you give them up?

Teaching and being a mermaid or music performer. As a kid, I always thought I  would be a teacher, but was encouraged into healthcare instead.

4. If we lived in a moneyless economy, how would you spend your time?

Travel and be a speaker on topics such as mental health, self-love, spiritual growth and inspiring others with writing and self-help topics.

5. If you could be anyone, who would you be?

Me. I actually really like me. People who inspire me include, Pema Chodron, Tilda Swinton, and Sevdaliza. Maybe Queen Elizabeth the 1st. Cleopatra. Strong women, who know who they are. 

6. What are your happiest memories?

Traveling to Belize and exploring ruins, traveling to Peru and exploring ruins ( hence the name of the blog;)) Winning an award in elementary school for my writing. 

7. What gifts can you give to the world?

Inspiration, knowledge, teaching, healing, beauty, sensuality, self love

8. What one thing would you do or try if you KNEW you couldn't fail?

Relationships, writing, singing/dancing. 

and my results for this test 

https://www.higherawareness.com/soul-purpose-test.php

The highest score you received says you are - "A compassionate, loving intuitive supporter

Your highest purpose involves supporting others through teaching, coaching, healing or love. Below are some phrases that may give you more clarity. Pick and choose different words and create your own purpose or vision statement.

• To totally love my fellow human beings
• To understand how the universe and people function
• To heal
• To teach
• To nurture key relationships
• To fully develop and apply my intuition
• To understand the relationships of everything to everything else
• To love wisely and think lovingly
• To bring together into the unity of life
• To unify many groups into one whole
• To mend old broken relationships
• To be fully loved
• To practically and intuitively understand and identify with something
• To compassionately and intuitively work with people
• To break out of inertia and to expand and grow

and this quiz 

https://www.psychologies.co.uk/test-whats-your-true-passion

Your core values centre on lifelong learning

You’re extremely motivated to get more knowledge under your belt, whether that’s academic learning, or through personal growth and self-development. You feel the most like ‘you’ when you’re acquiring new skills. You have a ‘growth mindset’ approach to life – you keep an open mind, and you never assume that you’re an expert at anything, because you know there is always more that can be learned. Therefore, it’s understandable that you may struggle more than most if you’ve been in the same job for a while, or feel as if your career isn’t offering any new challenges. The upside to this is that you become more motivated than most to embark on further education. You have the dedication to put in the time and effort to get professional qualifications that will support your ambition, either by advancing your career, or opening the door to a new one.

 So what does it all mean? The focus I was hoping for hasn't quite come through, and I accept that. Maybe some clarity as it all settles in.