Memoirs of a Tomb Raider

I have been doing a lot of research  on core beliefs. See, we all have em'. The programming we use everyday to make decisions,get things done,achieve our goals and dreams. The rules to our current (and ever changing) identity.  Sometimes they hold us back. Sometimes they are pretty obvious (I hate math) and some are more subtle ( I am afraid of rejection,therefore I am  bit of a perfectionist) I have been through a bit of mental health treatment. I know I have the belief that "I am not good enough" which regularly rears it's head in ways I thought were just my lack of discipline.  Yesterday on Instagram I found a post  https://www.instagram.com/p/CkSdqWgJGZO/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= How to uncover your subconscious blocks.  I mean, yeah. This. Why have I kept missing ballet class? Why do I have epicondylitis again (limiting my lifting and fitness goals). Do I really have to start identifying as someone who "never misses 2 workouts in a row?" (Not a terrible idea

The last 3 Months have been quite a whirlwind and now, here we are, out of summer and back into fall. I started dancing ballet again, after a sabbatical between the ages of 21-40 with a blip of dancing for 3 months in 2018 that ended with a bum knee. So here we are again. Something has shifted in me so hard, that I had to dance. I signed back up for ballet in January of 2022, taking one class a week, then 2, and signing up for a summer dance intensive with huge plans to get back into company and perform. I have also taken up some hypnosis to help me lose weight and get back into shape( or as I like to say, release fat and build muscle). Spoiler alert, it worked. 5 sessions and I have really started to become who I want to be. Time line: Base weight: 155lbs, 5 ft . Body fat at 28%. January: 1 class of ballet and weight lifting 2x a week :153 lbs February: 2 classes of ballet weight lifting 2x a week: 153 lbs March : 2 classes of ballet and weight lifting 2x a week- started usin

 Good morning beautiful readers.   The last few days have been strange. Feeling strange, Time is strange, it all just feels strange. Maybe it's me, or the pandemic.  Maybe its the weird way the pandemic has made time go faster and slower at the same time.   Friday, this Imgur post really resonated with me. Time, and how I see it  Recently I started to feel a bit lost. I usually just band-aid that shit with busy work, but even that lacks je ne sais quoi . So, most morning, I go through my email and notifications, and NERDFITNESS came up again. I had used their app for 2 years and loved it, recently just fell off the wagon.    But, personal coaching. That sounds scary.  So, I have a  call today at 11. Maybe. I'm still scared. So I am doing it.   Because I am not going to let fear hold me back. Oh wait Its 197 a month.... let me think about that. Well, what HAS worked for me in the past? 1. Surfing Pinterest on Saturday for meal plans.  2. Spending sunday doing meal prep 3. Pre-w

 It's been a minute, hasn't it? I sit at my desk today, drinking Rosemary tea, and I don't feel amazing. I feel tired, run down, apathetic, and like I am looking down the ark hole of " why?"   I am not even sure why I am writing this.  Small things help. Music, I listen to ambiance coffee shops with Jazz on you tube, and enjoy the decaf coffee. Yeah, I started drinking decaf.    My brain keeps looking for reasons I don't feel awesome. I worked out pretty hard on Monday. I ran, lifted, and had a lot of steps for my " Outbreak App".  The weather is changing.  But also, I am tired and frustrated that COVID is still around and I feel unsure about what I am comfortable doing.   My brother asks me about how the government is using fear to control us.   I just don't have the energy to give a shit about Qanon.   Yesterday I posted that if people are pro trump, anti vaxx and anti mask, they can unfriend me. SO far I have 141 friends. The number hasn't

Intro: I recently signed up for a Weight loss program called OMADA. I don’t know about you, but gained some weight over the pandemic. Stressed? Eat. Bored? Eat. Worried ? Eat. This was my response to life. My goal is to lose *looks up goal on body-space.com- clenches jaw-heavy sigh* 39 lbs. Yikes. I mean, that's my “Shoot for the moon”. I can do this. I mean, I like I challenge. Right? So here we go. Omada was offered through my insurance and it is really no stress, slow and easy, habit shifter. With a coach! I have been in it for 3 weeks and I weight myself everyday. I have let go of the judgement, because it doesn’t help. Turns out I have some pretty good habits and then self sabotage on the 4-5th day. It appears I struggle with balance. Here are the things I am learning on the journey. 1. Shifting Language=Shifting thoughts 2. Drink more water? 3. Don’t restrict, just push out all food with veg. So here we go. 1. Shifting language: I’m not losing weight. That makes my psyche puc

 Good day fellow readers and health upon you.   I started  taking Lions mane.    Well, I have been taking a smaller dose for about 2 months and now am amping it up to the real deal.  Since February 13 I have been taking  5mg of creatine ( Creapure by Muscle feast) 2 tablets of Stamets 7 ( includes 143 mg of Lions mane 2 tablets of Mycobotanicals Brain (300mg of lions mane)  and now LIONS MANE! ( 1 tab is 500 mg)=943 mg of Lions mane a day, starting today ( at 12:47pm, to be exact) It is now 13:25.  ------------------------------------------------ Does it help my concentration? Does it impact the anxiety I feel ? WILL IT MAKE ME FAT?? Will I finish my Book?   These are the questions I ask,   Lets get after it then, and I will check in intermittently.  Stay tuned!