Day 0 Travel to the Bahamas,Firt time,first class.

I had to stay awake for the experience. I'm glad I did.I don't live a life I need to escape from,but I love new experience. 

The nuts were warm in first class. 

No joke. 

And my ginger ale was served in an actual glass.

I had 3 magazines to read from and remote for the TV which was only 1 foot away.

It was luxury. 

Did I mention the blanket? And the earbuds? And the warm hand towel,lightly scented with lemon? Who sleeps through that? Even if they have the room to actually stretch their legs,short though they may be.(My 6'4 husband leaned over and told me he was ruined for first class. I can't blame him. I loved all the room,and I didn't actually need it like he did)

Anyways,I digress. 

Radical self acceptance.

Today,I learned how afraid of abandonment I am. Well, I always kind of knew,I just never really felt it so acutely when not in trigger mode.

I could really feel this deep,subconscious fear,a fear which made no sense whatsoever ever in my current,adult relationship. 

But I felt it. Starting in my heart,and climbing up into my throat,unable to hear reason in most forms. 

How do you heal a wound that isn't based in reality? 

I guess I start with acceptance? :/.